Traveling Alone as a Woman Is Amazing, but Not for the Reasons We Think Kate Hakala - Connections.Mic
go to original April 21, 2015

I picked a shitty hotel, and I knew it. The TripAdvisor reviews had been ruthless: "This is not a hotel, this a worn-down, dangerous location," and "rustic ... not for pretentious people."

"That's OK, I can handle it," I told myself.

I was heading to a budget hotel in Mexico and wasn't in the position to be picky. It had electricity 12 hours per day, running cold water and a mosquito net hanging above the bed. In the pictures, it looked like a poorly rated youth hostel, but with a sliding door to paradise.

Before I left, coworkers and friends asked me: Why are you going to Mexico alone? Isn't there anyone who will go with you? One man had even dubbed me the "bravest person he knew."

I was too busy planning to be scared. Besides, I'd braved the crowded bars of New York City and was once robbed on the subway. I was prepared for anything international travel would throw my way, I figured.

Of course, women who travel alone face alarming statistics about homicide rates in foreign countries. The popular travel guide Rick Steves' Europe instructs women to "wear a real or fake wedding ring and carry a picture of a real or fake husband," and to "lie unhesitatingly." The suggestions send the message that danger lurks on every corner, and every outing is just an abduction movie waiting to happen.

But it turns out the threats to my safety weren't quite so cinematic. Instead, as a woman, the experience of traveling alone is the experience of being subject to the world, the constant recipient of outside judgments that oscillated between pitying and threatening. My own "courageous" journey involved confronting these subtle but insidious challenges, day by day — and in the process, finding my own quiet confidence.

Read the rest at Connections.Mic

Photo: Getty

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