Gender-Based Violence (GBV): Why Victims Do Not Leave Esther Nantana - Inter Press Service
go to original July 4, 2023

Gender-Based Violence- What Is It All About? (Foundation for Professional Development)

In almost every conversation I’ve had about gender-based violence (GBV), the question “why don’t they leave?” inevitably comes up.

After many years of working in this space, I have learned that the answer is not as simple as we think. The nature of GBV is quite complex. Numerous layers and factors affect individuals both internally and externally.

These can include the nature of the relationship, the sense of responsibility, the sporadic nature of violence, fears and uncertainty.

A significant part of the complexity of GBV lies in the fact that it is committed by someone with whom the victim is in a relationship and thus someone they deeply love and care about.

Trying to reconcile how someone you love can hurt you in that way is usually only the initial shock. But it keeps victims trying to figure out what went wrong in the relationship.

Blame-Shifting

Victims have been known to take on a sense of responsibility for the violence they face. Some tend to believe they provoked or caused the problem.

This is usually a result of blame-shifting by the abuser. Society also contributes to this when they subject victims to questions like “what did you do to aggravate him?”

This engenders a sense of guilt and an accompanying sense of responsibility to prevent further violence.

This is wrongfully placed on victims when the abusers are at fault. Also, no level of “instigation” warrants physical aggression or abuse. Physical violence is unacceptable even when it only occurs once in a relationship.

And in most cases, when it happens once, it is often likely to reoccur. It may not even happen frequently, but it will.

And those moments when it’s not happening pull the victim back into the relationship – thinking the last time it happened was the last time it would happen.

Read the rest at IPS

  Learn about Banderas Bay Women’s Shelter

  Learn about Fundación Reintegra